Welcome to my Emotional Rollercoaster.
I am in a place where my roots are only superficial; here is the frustration of realizing this.
Having things you want to talk about stuck in your head, and knowing that your closest friend will not understand it is a big frustration. I have been able to get over that one by concentrating on what I can talk about with my friends, which opened up many interesting conversations and seems to have made my friendship with Eva (one of the fieldworker’s daughters) deeper and stronger. The other thing was coming back to my family after retreat. It was not as happy and exciting as I had thought it would be, and there weren’t as many smiles and greetings as when I had come back from the village stay. I felt a little left out and nervous. It didn’t help much that work was getting frustrating what with all the cancelations and time spent waiting around for replies. There was so much managing to do for the fieldworkers and project leaders that I barely got any field time or meeting time. It made all the hand shaking and smiles seem so fake and useless. Like people didn’t really consider me as being a useful part of the family or the team. I realized that I was being too hard on them. Sure I wasn’t being brought into anything activities or anything, but they were simply busy. As for the family, it is maybe because I am integrating so well that they didn’t pay too much attention to my return. Feeling so comfortable and yet so separated from everything is a strange position to be in. As my two last weeks went on I realized I had reached a new level, I was no longer the stranger that needed to be shown around. I now have to start my own work, ask for things I want without waiting for someone to offer and it’s pretty great. It’s sometimes hard to deal with all of this considering the short amount of time I am actually spending here, but all in all it’s a great learning experience and well I can’t skip steps so I might as well enjoy them all.
Here is my whole team in Koudougou! The four fieldworkers and me!
The pleasures and surprises and things that make me smile in general;
So I was picking at my too hot spaghetti, eating a few noodles at a time when I took something that had originally looked like the end of a green pepper but felt like meat and certainly tasted like meat. I looked at it, and automatically thought about the rat dissection I studied in first year biology and how my friend and I had teased the girls at our table with the kidneys , that’s when I realized I was eating mystery meat kidney… Most meat still tastes the same to me, being a late carnivorous, and so I shall never know what I ate, but it was small enough to remind me of a rat kidney… I decided you didn’t need to see a picture, I hope you don’t mind.
The other day when I was walking with my two little sisters a guy yelled out a comment. I didn’t get it at first, and had to think about the words for a few minutes to make sure I heard properly and even then I had to ask what they meant. My sisters laughed and said “Nasara forme coca”, cola shaped white, as in those little glass bottles of coca cola you see at the store and how they are skinny but kinda have curves? Yeah, I thought that was a pretty funny comparison, still makes me laugh.
Yet another day of intense rain. For all of you back in Newfoundland, I feel like I’m at home… except I can’t leave my room. Everything is shut down when it rains. Even the father stays home and sleeps, waiting for the rain to end. Meetings canceled, food not available, most of the time no electricity and sometimes no running water too. It’s romantic and all for the first few times, but after a few missed meetings and lots of delay in your work plan it gets a little less pretty and a little more wet…
Getting your hair braided. 4 hours and two Tylenols later, my head was tight and heavy with about two extra pounds of plastic hair nicely braided into a pretty do with curls at the end ( tapis chenille en francais ^.^) I felt a little like Cleopatra at first, with the dark braids to the side and my very stern face. I was trying to not let my eyes water, to smile, not wince and to look ok for the pictures the hairdressers were having fun taking (too many bad pictures of me already exist because of friends learning how to use my camera hehe).
So let’s start a fun game… How much does Nushka weigh? I’ll give you a hint, I think it’s the most I’ve ever weighed… My pants are getting a little too tight and they use to be too loose! I’ll try and find out how much I weigh for the next blog… you may or may not hear more about this. :p
The way you present yourself in new situations can make a big difference in how people approach you. I was sitting at a little restaurant (well a tin roof on the side of a building on the side of the road… great café au lait…) eating an omelette and drinking a coke when someone started talking to me. We did the usual greetings, bon soir, bon appétit, vous êtes invité, merci… Then the conversation came to getting my contacts and I once again declined politely. The subject was pushed a little further until my color was mentioned, which is when I took the opportunity to ask if it was my color that made him ask for my number. The answer I got from the man next to me, the server and the cook was a surprise I will likely never forget. It wasn’t because I was white, but because I looked special Not special as in weird or deformed or genius or talented in something, but special because I looked open and inviting. My shock must have shown on my face because all three continued to talk about it to explain what they meant. I managed to ask if most white people where open and inviting and they all agreed that no, in fact most aren’t. Now I don’t know how far I can take this, but I know it has a lesson hiding somewhere. The fact that I go through the greetings, that I remain polite even with people who are opportunistic or rude and that I give a fair chance for conversation to people has really given me the chance to learn a great deal about this new country. Now I’m not saying that I do a great job at it, I still have bad days and slip ups where I catch myself being very short with people who just have a hard time understanding me, but I definitely make the effort to stay alert of how I present myself.
The two newlyweds talking to the priest before the village ceremony.
The girls who got together to help out and attend the wedding! (My sister Rosa, Anais' brother Moustafa and Victoria's best friend Aisha to my left, so the right side of the picture...Hmm lets start again, Moustafa, Rosa, Me, Aisha, Annelies and Victoria! Left to right... )Wedding at Bobo! Congrats to Elizabeth and Alexandre! Two long term volunteers here just got married, the day before leaving for home in Canada. It was a great experience to see a traditional wedding ceremony in a village and see a bit more of the country. It was also an eye opener, I have been thinking about my career goals a bit more lately, and how I’ve always wanted to be with Médecin sans Frontière. Talking to volunteers that have been here for a year and are leaving, as well as volunteers who are staying and others who have no desire of living back in Europe or Canada was really interesting. Things you don’t really get to live through when you only stay here for 3.5 months really make a difference in the experience. For instance, a comment I had never thought of came from someone I’m only meeting and already respect a lot. She was saying that living in a village and on the field was a very good step to make, but that if you really want to work in development and make a difference you can’t live 30 km away from an office with the internet. In order to work with the big NGOs you must have an education as well as experience. I strongly agree, in my opinion, to influence all the big players in development, one must have a lot of experience yes, but also a strong education and the ability to work in the offices while dealing with the politics such as government and international public. There are so many actors in this field of work and I must start preparing myself to be able to deal with it all in order to have an influence that will actually bring change.
This may be a lot to think about in a very small paragraph, but I will try and write something more formal and interesting soon. It may be while I’m still here or perhaps when I get back to Newfoundland.
Oh and did I mention the taxi we had all weekend was really old and kept on breaking down?
Something that hit me while I was working on a project was the difference in sense of urgency felt by people in NGOs or in the villages about the need for access to clean water. While NGOs will always use big words and stress the importance and disastrous results of having no clean drinking water, the villages I have visited did not seem to care that they had been drinking dirty water for the last month because their pump was broken. There was no sense of urgency at all, people didn’t rush to pay for the repair and most just went to the old wells or neighboring villages to get their water. I know I still have many more villages to visit in my life, but this felt like something I should share, perhaps someone else has a similar thought? Comments or maybe questions?
Oh and I've been going to CLTS (Community Lead Total Sanitation) training this week and will be there again next week. That's me and one of the fieldworkers on an other EWB JF partner organisation team.
She's really cool and like me, hates being late on schedule. I really enjoy that I get to meet so many great people through this training session. Three days of field work next week!!! Excitement!Only 4 weeks left, anyone want a specific picture?
bilfu!
